How to grow up with your children and not lose them in the attempt.
Adolescence is usually a difficult period to go through for young people and for their family. This is a time when childhood is moving slowly into adult life, and many parents feel that they do not know how to control their children’s behavior in this hectic time.
According to a study, many parents do not know what their children eat or who they are with, after the age of 13. It is in adolescence when they begin to make their own way in life and to weave new relationships. In this phase, many parents admit that they sometimes do not know what their children eat outside the home and who they are with.
The research highlights that of the 2,000 parents surveyed, 43 percent find candy or fast food wrappers in their rooms and that 39 percent of them also do not know who their child is always with, which causes them to lose control not only about what they eat but about their relationships and habits in general.
Many of the parents surveyed argue with their teens about eating (and many of us started that conversation much earlier). When our children are young, it is easier to have control over what they eat, but that record is often lost as our children begin to leave the nest to find their independence.
Food is a fundamental point in the care of our children. It is normal that you have conversations about what is best for their diets and that you try to persuade them to avoid junk food.
According to experts, there are four daily arguments why parents argue with their children about food issues:
- The need for them to eat more fruits and vegetables
- The demand that they drink more water and less soft drinks
- Convincing them to eat fewer candy bars or candy
- The demand for them to sit more time at the table with the families
The nutrition is essential for healthy growth of our children. But more than forcing them to eat healthily, what we must do as parents is to have tools to approach them so that they have enough autonomy to know themselves which elements to choose and what is appropriate for their health.
Much more than a food control
This study shows that parents have the feeling that we lose control of our children as they grow older. The way adolescents choose to eat when alone can also demonstrate their incipient rebelliousness and gives them a sense of new autonomy.
Controlling a teenager is a task that is done step by step and builds up from childhood. My children are still young, but if I let them take control from now on what they eat, what they say or what they want to do day and night, I will probably no longer be able to control them at 11 years old.
Every parent has ever had a headache during their children’s adolescence. And many of us have also given our parents problems during puberty. However, it is about establishing containment networks very early, so that communication with our son is fluid and we can approach the adolescent without hurting her susceptibilities and trying to empathize as much as possible.
Why can’t I control my teenager?
According to the WHO, adolescence is a period of development in people that occurs after childhood and before adulthood, between 10 and 19 years. It is a very hectic passage that is characterized by the physical and emotional changes typical of puberty, where the family represents a fundamental support for an emotionally healthy development in adolescents.
Controlling the behavior of a teenager is often a very difficult task for parents. The reasons for their behavior can be due to many factors, such as hormonal changes, sudden mood swings, and identity or social conflicts, among other things.
The truth is that although parents often blame ourselves for the behavior of our pubertal children, many of their attitudes at this stage are completely normal, although it is our duty to direct them so that they do not threaten the personal sphere and their social circle. That is to say, we must help them, understand them and encourage them to go through this difficult stage, but always setting the necessary limits so that they grow responsibly and recognizing their own limitations.
Communication, a key factor
We must not forget that the adolescent always needs us. Sometimes they themselves are unaware of their behavior, and although they regret it, it is difficult for them to communicate with their parents. As adults, we are the ones who must foster communication with the adolescent to try to understand and help him.
You can put these tips into practice to improve communication with your teenager, and thus achieve greater control over their behavior, so that it has a positive and significant impact on their life:
Encourage communication from a young age: Look him in the eye and ask how he did in school. Kneel
next to him and look him in the eye to tell him what you think. Encourage him to tell her things, as they are very important to you.
Empathize with him: Your teenager also suffers with his own changes. Understand that this is a tumultuous stage.
Set limits early: The limits are healthy for children and adolescents. Make sure they know each other and follow the rules of your home. You can make a list and post it in her room.
Feed his autonomy: Don’t do things for him, but help him do it for himself. In this way, you will feel more control over
yourself and a healthy independence.
Set an example: They always watch us. Be an example for your child of what you want for his life.
Turn off the phones: During dinner, the new rule may be to turn off electronic devices to encourage interaction among
family members , and to talk openly about the day’s problems, concerns, and activities. Don’t expect them to be a teenager to do it, start when your child is young.
Don’t label it: Calling a child “grumpy” is not a good idea, as he should not be comfortable with your mood or with that label. Ask if you can help him or tell him that you will be available to talk when his anger subsides.
It is normal for you to feel like you are losing control of your teen. Don’t feel bad about it, but work to keep everything on track. In the meantime, keep learning about this troubled stage so that you can support and understand your child as much as possible. Come on, you’re doing great!