Most of us get in trouble for these 9 things (which are NOT a problem) and they bring big problems. DO NOT fall for the game.
There are things you shouldn’t make a problem about if you want to avoid problems. Sometimes we make movies in our mind and we fill ourselves with doubts and insecurities seeing ghosts where there are none, becoming seers (only we can’t really see anything) and sometimes we destroy a relationship before it has started.
Women, there are at least 9 things (or ghosts we all have) that you can take off your worry lists and start being happy:
Worry no more about:
1. That your partner is unfaithful:
When I first moved to the United States, I was introduced to “dating” (dating the opposite sex), and to the rule that unless they specifically tell you that they want to date only with you, you should know that men (and you also, if you want) they can continue dating other people, what horror !.
read14 things that make your man stay away from you (you don’t even realize some of them)
Like everything in life, it is a matter of adaptation, and I learned to follow the new rules of coexistence. What I learned from this experience is that no matter how much you worry about whether your partner is being faithful or unfaithful, there is nothing you can do to control their mind and actions. I also learned that the more you worry, the more problems you bring to yourself, creating more chances that the relationship will end up seeing ghosts where there are none.
2. That your partner leaves you:
As soon as we meet someone, the first fear that arises is that of abandonment. You start to worry about what your partner is thinking when he is quiet, you worry if he is too good, because you think that maybe he feels sorry for you and is preparing you to leave you, and so you spend your days concentrating your energies on things that they are not productive, but destructive.
If your partner wants to leave you, he will take care of letting you know without you having to guess. For now, enjoy having it, focus on what you have today, tomorrow you will have enough time to worry about tomorrow.
3. That you think you are not enough for your partner
Don’t compare yourself to anyone, ever. A friend of mine told me the other day that I never had to feel insecure because I am unique, and nobody can be exactly like me (to which she added: “luckily”), therefore whoever loves you will only want to be with you .
4. That your partner’s family and friends are not going to love you (or do not love you)
Again you are getting in trouble for something that is totally out of your control. The only thing you can control is what you do, how you act in front of them, to show your best, and the rest is their choice. When you worry about things like this, it is easy to make comments that create pressure on your relationship, ruining the moment.
read 5 simple strategies that can revive your relationship
5. That your partner enjoys being with other people more than with you:
In this one, you can do things to change him, as long as you are right (usually this is only true, if every time you are together, you fight with him). If this is what is happening, analyze what is happening and change your negative behaviors and talk about it with him, instead of playing guess and seeing ghosts where there are none.
6. That you no longer seem sexy:
Once again, if he was no longer attracted to you, he would leave your side. In this case, the problem (which is not really a problem) is that you need to work a little more on your self-esteem. There is something that always works and that my grandmother always said: If you feel sexy and confident, what you are wearing doesn’t matter. Work on how you feel, and analyze what would make you feel better, instead of starting to shut down or ask your partner every so often if she still sees you as attractive.
7. Who are not too intimate (or have too much):
Compared to what? Never judge one relationship by comparing it to another. And if you are comparing her at first, keep in mind that all relationships tend to be more intimate at first, until a balance is found. Not being intimate with your partner can destabilize things, which is why it’s always good to talk about it, rather than making stories in your head.
8. Who does not share what they do together on social media
It is true, nowadays, we have added more problems to the ones we already had, and social media somehow plays an important role in defining relationships. The important thing to keep in mind here is that not everyone uses social media in the same way, and that men are not scheming things like this to disregard us. Do not worry about something so insignificant, if he is with you, enjoy reality and do not worry about the virtual.
read 8 wounds women inflict on men in the name of love
9. That your partner takes a long time to answer your text messages
We live in a society that has NO patience, for absolutely nothing. We want the responses to be immediate and to top it all the phones tell you how many minutes have passed since the last message. Don’t focus on this by using your precious life trying to think about what is happening, because nothing is happening. In the age of grandmothers, it could take months to receive a letter.
Relax and enjoy, do not see problems where there are none.