All couples experience arguments in their life. To prevent fights from leaving sequels, it is important to learn to take control of conflicts and resolve them intelligently.
There are many types of fights that are experienced in love relationships, many of them when they get out of control leave consequences in the relationship, allowing feelings of revenge, hearing and resentment to flourish. Conflicts are often forgiven to calm the family environment and save a relationship when there is love, however, they are not always forgotten and remain engraved in the heart.
Conflicts about criticism in a couple, ideologies, personal defects, lack of trust, intimacy, even fights due to the lack of commitment of the couple, significantly affect the emotional state and physical health of people; causing radical decisions such as a separation, divorce, even suicide.
Therefore, it is essential to learn to argue with your partner, to take charge of problems to find solutions and agreements for a common and family well-being, avoiding experiencing serious consequences.
What is the best way to do it?
1. Identify the problem
Many times and unfortunately people retaliate with the partner they love, for the bad moment they experienced in their day caused by third parties. Sometimes the fights are not caused by some mistreatment or annoyance of the partner, so it is essential to think well before acting wrong.
Why generate a discussion? What is the cause that generates the discomfort in you or your partner? Reflecting thoroughly on the causes of arguments or fights will be useful to find solutions and understand the reason for their behavior or attitude.
2. Balance in conversation
Remember that if you attack your partner in a moment of rage and without control, you can leave deep wounds, so think and reason. One way to balance fights is to look for the virtues or positive things in your partner, so you can have the opportunity to express your annoyance (the negative things).
Avoid starting with the negative things as your partner will react defensively and the problem will only get bigger.
3. Express yourself without fear
It is better to say what you feel openly, without fear, even though the truth can hurt your partner, than to hide your true intentions or feelings. It can be difficult to take the first step into an argument, however, emotions must flow, to get a good response from the partner, thus actually finding the solutions, without entanglements and assumptions.
“I feel disappointed because the last nights you have been late”
4. Don’t argue in public
Reason often dominates the heart and mistakes are made that you can later regret. Try as much as possible that your discussions are in private, away from children, friends, family or any public place, since they will never be able to fix their differences and the damage will not only be for you as a couple but also for people that are around you.
I share with you: 5 effective ways to control a discussion as a couple
5. Listen, tolerate and give in
They are key to solving conflicts. A mistake is to think that one is always right, however, one must listen carefully to what the couple has to say, understand their point of view, tolerate and in some cases give in, to calm the discussion and reach agreements that suit both.
Read: 5 EFFECTIVE STEPS to make your partner listen to you
6. Physical contact
Fights are not only solved with a good conversation and agreements, when it comes to couples. It is important to reactivate the affective and sentimental side, in a word, “love.” Physical contact such as hugs, kisses, caresses and intimacy, are ways to strengthen the union, ending a fight with good energy and positive relationships.
I invite you to read: This type of couple fight will destroy your marriage
All people argue, we fight, however, one must learn to do so assertively, to avoid irreversible and painful consequences. Remember that everything has a solution and when there is love, nothing can destroy your relationship.