So are narcissists; prevent your daughter from falling in love with one.
I never imagined seeing time go by so fast, in the blink of an eye my teenage daughter began to discover the love of a couple. With her crazy, adventurous personality and with a desire to experience the love of a man, she lived the worst stage of her life being in a narcissistic relationship.
When she turned 18, my daughter started dating a boy; He was very handsome, intelligent and athletic, he was about to start studying for a degree at the University. Like all mothers, I thought I was the ideal candidate for my little girl, since she reflected a wonderful future.
My daughter was happy (I came to believe); However, as time went by, when I looked more closely at their relationship, I realized that something was not right; Since my daughter used to hide in her room to cry every night, her joy began to fade, she even became afraid of not being able to please her partner.
But what is it like to be a narcissistic person?
It is considered a disorder; It refers to people who feel an excessive admiration for themselves, for their physical appearance and their qualities, they are self-centered and proud; They never have consideration for the needs or feelings of others. Due to their characteristic that identifies them as being egocentric, they believe they are better and superior; they like to be admired and praised.
Beloved daughter: Value yourself!
My daughter felt great love, she was very excited, since it was the first relationship she experienced; for this reason, she supported any arrogant, arrogant and selfish attitude. On more than one occasion she believed herself inferior to him, she even began to have depressive attitudes, related to low self-esteem, insecurity and distrust; she did not believe she was equal to her partner.
It was very difficult to make her understand that romantic love was the complete opposite of what she was experiencing. I want to think that because of her immaturity, her youth, and because she was her first love, she didn’t realize she was suffering.
After a year in constant therapy and family work; my daughter overcame the bad drink of her life and is now renewed, ready to start another love affair.
How to prevent your daughter from ending up with a narcissist?
No one is exempt from meeting a totally narcissistic person; However, we must teach our daughters, from a very young age, to value, respect and love each other; so that they are strong and able to stay away from toxic people.
1 Sweet phrases
Surely you have heard about him power of words , Just as a well-used positive phrase can help you strengthen your self-esteem, a malicious word can also destroy you.
As mothers we must learn to express ourselves correctly, with love, affection and sweetness, to strengthen self-love, security and trust in our daughters. The key is to completely avoid any offensive or negative word and transform it to positive. Avoid saying expressions like ” you are incompetent, you cannot do such a thing, you are weak and fragile.”
2 Your presence is essential
All human beings need to feel loved, loved and accepted within a social group, in this case it is the family, in order to develop our personality and identity.
I know that sometimes mothers cannot be with their children as we would like, since we have many responsibilities and obligations to fulfill. However, it is essential that our daughters feel love, support and maternal affection from childhood, providing a good quality of time with them.
In this way we can ensure that their self-love will strengthen them, since they will feel unconditional support and guidance.
3 Qualities and virtues
We must teach our daughters to know and find all their abilities, qualities and virtues, of course, also their defects. However, we must try to minimize these failures and make them feel capable, intelligent, safe when they achieve their goals and dreams.
We all make mistakes and must learn from them in order to be successful. Thus, with this premise, we must help our daughters to be empathetic with others, reinforcing the idea that no one is more than another, that we all make mistakes and that all people have different strengths and abilities.
4 No one can make you believe something you are not
“You are unique and special”, “You have your own identity”, these are some statements that are useful to strengthen self-esteem. It is important to make our daughters understand how valuable they are and that no one can make them believe otherwise.
Even if they don’t feel good in the company of someone, they have the right to walk away and defend their ideas and opinions; since nobody can judge them for how they are.
5 The love of a couple
Love is a difficult term to describe, since it is subjective and we all tend to express love to our partner in different ways. However, daughters will learn by seeing the relationship you have with your husband since you are her example, you are her role model and it will be the only concept that she will have ingrained.
A partner is the one who listens to you, supports you, accepts you with your virtues and defects, the one who does not try to change you for anything, the one who does not need exaggerated admiration, the one who is at your level (it is only you), among other ideas.
It is almost impossible to experience the loving feelings of children towards a partner, however, to avoid our daughter suffering and ending up in narcissistic relationship , we must focus our upbringing and teaching on self-love, security, and self-confidence.
Let us remember that a narcissistic person only thinks about himself and that it is difficult for him to maintain a relationship with someone; they usually have short-lived and successful relationships. For that reason, focus on strengthening your daughter in all aspects, to make her realize by herself that she is experiencing a false idea of what it is to love.