When family is not supportive, learn to bring out the best in you. There are many people willing to accompany you.
In our culture, the family is the most sacred, it is the pillar that helps us to continue facing all adversity. They are the unconditional support, love, security and protection that any human being needs to feel part of a group. The family is the guide and the basis that forms our identity.
When the family fails and we don’t find the help we need in difficult times, the world falls apart. All our hopes and expectations crumble, since without thinking we believe that they are the people we need to move forward and heal our pain.
But like everything in life, there are families that, even though they share the same genetic code, are not very given to offer help, but to criticize, judge and destroy their own members. And the only thing that can be done is to accept and respect their decisions, since it will be a psychological drain to try to change ideologies or feelings that go against what one person really wants to do for another.
I expected more from them …
I was never very close to my relatives, we only lived together on some important dates such as Christmas, birthdays and funerals. During my youth, I had the opportunity to reside in another state in which I lived for 10 years; I never had any contact with them at that time. However, for reasons of fate and my life shattered, I found myself in the need to return to the place where my relatives lived, imagining that there I would find the family support that my heart so desired.
My expectations were many, I believed that because I had a blood relationship with my relatives they would love and support me; however it was quite the opposite, it was an absolute disappointment from which I had to learn some things.
My story is an example of how families – whether they are parents, siblings, uncles, cousins or grandparents – are not always the people we think they are; despite having a unique bond that is genetic. However I learned:
1 Accept and love them as they are
There are many different ways to express love. SIf we think that there is only one way because we have learned it during childhood, we will be making a mistake that can lead to frustration. The idea that must be rescued at this point is that all people are different and that some are very given to expressing their feelings and others are not, that does not mean that they do not love you.
For this reason, it will be important to learn these ways of loving and accepting them, even if they are against your ideologies. At the end of the day, doing so will make you feel much better, since you no longer expect to receive anything in return.
2 Help is not always cheap
Some family members think that the help that a member expects to receive in difficult cases and adversities is always financial; However it is not always so. Sure, money can solve many things, but in reality what a person who seeks his family expects is empathy, support, advice and feeling protected.
To undo these false ideologies about money, it is advisable to start having a closer contact with family members, actually expressing what your true needs are. At the end of the day, few are the people who are empathic with the suffering of others.
3 Help doesn’t always come from the family
Sometimes psychological wear is generated when the affected person wishes to get closer to family members, especially when they send signals indicating that you are an indifferent person and irrelevant to their lives.
For this reason, seek help and support elsewhere; remember that friends or even people who only came into your life for a few moments, they may be the ideal people who can get you out of trouble and give you what you need.
4 The ability and courage that exists within you
Many times when we think we need others to get out of a problem is when things are suddenly discovered inside that were unknown, such as strength, courage, courage and fortitude.
As my grandmother used to say: “all the adversities or obstacles that we encounter on our way have a reason for being”; For this reason, you must learn to draw your inner strength and realize that you are a person who can win and fight -even without help- to reach her goal and find happiness.
5 Forgive and move on
If you spend a lot of time thinking about problems and that your family members do not help you in those moments of anguish, it will be a physical and emotional drain. Therefore, forgive to move on, casting off all feelings of resentment, bitterness, frustration and hatred.
Change your way of thinking and focus on yourself; reflect and take some time to give thanks for the life of your family and bless them for as long as it takes. Even help and support them when they need it.
The family is the most sacred, even when it is not as expected. Let the relationship flow, let time act in your favor so that at some point you can help them. Love them and bless them, that way you will feel much better, do it for yourself!