The love that lasts is one that takes time, effort and desire to make it work. Don’t let any of these signs show up in your marriage, and if it happens, act so you’re not just another statistic.
Lately, it is very common to observe how couples invest large amounts of money to celebrate their wedding, but few invest resources to keep love on.
The APA (American Psychological Association) has conducted a series of studies with couples and they have concluded that there are certain signs that herald the possible breakdown of marriage. According to a survey by Clark University, it was found that 86% of more than 1,000 young Americans surveyed, all between the ages of 18 and 29, expect their marriages to last a lifetime. However, experts have seen that 50% of marriages end up broken. “Today, we have a pretty good idea of what a good marriage is likely to be,” says Brook Arthur Aron. From these studies, I share with you some possible reasons why many marriages do not last today:
1. Low level of studies, immaturity and previous paternity
These are the three demographic variables that most affect a marriage not to last. University women are more likely to celebrate 20 years of marriage than women with lower levels of education. Emotional maturity is also a fundamental aspect, so adolescent couples tend to have fewer opportunities to consolidate a marriage than older couples. With regard to paternity, it will always be better if it happens after the marriage, since in this way it strengthens the bonds between the couple more, not in all cases in which they are parents before their time.
2. High levels of stress
This is one of the factors that most influences the wear and tear of the couple and that usually ends marriages. This is because when long periods of stress are spent, less energy is invested in caring for and caring for the partner (Journal of Family Psychology, 2012). Only those couples who have built a welcoming environment that supports them in times of crisis survive this situation. This is why it is essential to have a group of close family and friends that you can go to, either to have fun together or to have support in difficult times such as illness, financial crisis, etc.
3. Lack of financial resources
According to some researchers, couples who do not have a stable financial base before marrying have a 70% chance of failing after three years of marriage. If this is the case, leaning on themselves in times of crisis is the best they can do, but if otherwise they start with reproaches, instead of establishing an action plan together they will increase the chances of ending each one on their own.
4. Believe that the ring reaches
Couples who work every day to keep the fire burning last longer than those who believe that by marrying everything is said. Small everyday affirmations can be essential elements for a marriage to last a lifetime, so small details such as leaving love notes in your partner’s lunch box, cutting some flowers from the garden or giving him a surprise, are transformed into gestures of love that they lay the foundations of marriage. Celebrating your spouse’s triumphs and accomplishments is very important, as it increases the feeling of being valued.
5. Constant discussions
These situations are true dynamites that undermine love. Couples who manage to communicate with tenderness and kindness are able to express their differences without hurting each other, which is why they achieve relationships that last forever. Constant criticism, insults and devaluations not only lower the self-esteem of the spouse, but also end up mutilating love.
Do not think that by having a wonderful wedding your marriage will last forever, it takes a lot of work to make it happen. While being together is not enough, it is the initial step to wanting to be together forever. The love that lasts is one that takes time, effort and desire to make it work, do not let any of these signs flicker in your marriage and if it happens, act so that you are not just another statistic.
I invite you to read: Elements to build a good marriage
You may also be interested in: Learn about the healthy habits of eternal couples