“Each couple is different” my grandmother used to say. And what doesn’t work for you might work for someone else. Following this premise is how I managed to keep my partner listening to the good advice of those who love me, and identifying those that would only bring me a headache.
I have known my husband since we were teenagers. When we started to fall in love I heard all kinds oftips: that I was very young, that I did not commit myself, that I tried new loves, that a relationship would tie me, and that if I did not taste the “taste of youth” now I would regret it.
But twenty years and two children later, I don’t regret it. I was very young when I fell in love. And I got engaged, I did not try new loves, nor did I feel tied down and I never understood the need to try new experiences. I just followed my heart.
I can tell that listening to Good advicesIt gave me wings to believe in the relationship that was being born. A few years later, when I lived outside my country for three years for work, I again heard other advice: that it was my chance to live life, or that if he really loved me he would not have let me go.
Pay attention to advice
Tips are not always badbecause they precede people who do not want your good, but because people simply tend to comment or comment on the relationships of others. Sometimes to try to help you, and other times to exemplify their own bad experiences.
Pay attention to those tips that make you think that they can harm your partner.
1. “You are falling too low”
Social and economic position tends to come first for some people. It is logical that your loved ones want the best for you and think about a prosperous future for your family. But there is nothing wrong with you falling in love with someone whodo not winas much as you or who has not yet finished his degree while you are pursuing a doctorate, for example. You have to give love time, and meanwhile, enjoy it.
2. “You are losing the best of life”
For many people, being in a relationship is the end of the world. But not for you, right? If for you the best thing in the world is to be with that person who completes your days, welcome. I remember someone once told me that I should put some time with my partner so that we could both trynew experiences. I still remember that advice with much disgust, but feeling the pride of having defended the love we feel.
3. “He / she does not have to know”
Honesty is a fundamental piece for a relationship based on respect and empathy. Hide your expenses, your outings, your friendships and even a deception, only dirties the relationship and leads it astray. If you are looking to keep your partner and make amends for your mistakes, don’t listen to this bad advice. Talk to your partner. Feeltrust sets us free.
4. “I tell you from experience”
This is probably the most given advice in history. Maybe a friend or your mother or your brothers want to help you and advise you with all the love of their heart. But their experiences are not yours. If your relationship is healthy and you feel fully in it, trying to replicate the experiences of others will only bring frustration. Deep within you you know that this experience may not work for you.
5. “Don’t get married”
There you are, with your butterflies in your belly and with the crazy desire to spend your entire life with that person. And someone with their frustrations in tow tells you thatdo not get married, that it will be a mistake and that there is no need to marry if they can live as a couple. If you wish, if the love is immense, if you both want to live thesacred experience marriage, there is no reason to listen to this advice.
Life is one and you have to live it to the fullest. The people who surround us often fill us with affection with their advice, but it is up to us to take those that serve us and identify the healthy advice of those who will bring us separation or resentment.
And in the meantime, the best advisor will be your heart. It has never failed me.