All the couples I have seen in my therapy office have something in common, read on to find out what it is all about.
In the years that I have been a therapist, I have seen many different couples, with similar problems and sometimes almost identical to each other, but in all of them I always find something in common: the time they waited to come to therapy. All the couples I have seen have waited until the relationship is on the brink of divorce to come and seek help. While this does not mean that all is lost, it does indicate that this couple ignored for quite some time the signs that their marriage was in danger.
These signs are not always great, but these are the ones that tell us to make adjustments in our relationship. While it is my profession to see couples in my therapy room, it is even more important to me that they avoid coming until the last minute. That is why here I share three things that you can do as a couple and avoid seeing a therapist when you are about to sign the divorce papers.
It doesn’t matter if it’s asking for forgiveness or forgiving; the couple who want to avoid going to therapy — or divorce — learns to apologize and forgive. Most of the couples I see refuse to accept that each of them has a role in the deterioration of the relationship, since it is much easier to blame the other. Perhaps it is much easier but not the best, any couple who does not learn forgiveness, has a bitter and difficult future and a huge probability of being desperate in a therapy room.
Relee: Pride is the poison of any relationship.
2. Physical contact
Most of the couples I have seen come to sit on the couch and avoid physical contact, that is, if I wanted to sit in the middle of them I could do so, since there is a great physical distance between one and the other. Although this may seem small, I learn a lot about how the relationship is just by observing if this type of contact still exists. The couple that wants to stay together, makes sure that they hold hands, that they hug each other, that there is intimacy in short, that there is a lot of physical contact between the two. Otherwise, they will find themselves in the sad situation where they no longer even know how to do it and it is the job of a therapist to re-teach them something that should never have disappeared from their relationship.
Reread: 7 Meaningful Caresses Your Husband Expects.
3. The effort
No couple survives when one or both of them have given up. I know well that a couple has given up when they forget the little details, such as asking how their day has been, birthdays, anniversaries, saying “I love you” before going to sleep, saying goodbye with a kiss in the morning, etc. Although everything may seem simple and even mundane, doing it requires constant effort, it requires putting our partner as a priority even when we are so busy with our work and children. When you make a little effort, you almost guarantee that you will never set foot in a therapy room because your marriage is falling apart.
Relee: Get Your Husband Back: 8 Details That Will Keep Your Man In Love.
As I said before, while it is my profession to see couples and help them heal, I prefer that couples do what they have to do to maintain a happy relationship before they have to come to therapy. That’s better than seeing thousands of couples on the brink of divorce.