What leads us to do this? Do we do it for him or for ourselves? How healthy is it?
A person married a man whose taste for work was not given. From time to time he would go out to look for him “praying not to find him, supporting himself only on her salary. He asked her for many opportunities, for years until he was able to overcome his addiction, he began to study and today he does not take and successfully exercises his career. Few cases are worth a second chance but there are. But what are the reasons why they are believed in spite of everything?
Loneliness is very good company if you know how to take advantage of it, but when your self-esteem is not optimal, it can be the worst advisor. It is one of the main reasons why many courtships or marriages do not separate from their partner even if they no longer love each other.
This pathological attachment can arise mainly from the fear of the inconceivable idea of being alone and not having the capacity for that or not having the opportunity to find another person or even to be incomplete.
“Custom is the process in which two people are together, but without a common vision, they simply understand this union as a kind of accompaniment and the affective goes into the background or comes to lose completely,” says Óscar Urzagasti, a Bolivian psychologist. .
4. Comfort Zone
This point has a close relationship with low self-esteem since it can be a consequence of it by not having ambitions or a vision towards the future individually.
5. For the children
Children are one of the most determining factors in allowing the couple anything if they do not know how to mediate correctly due to fear of losing a family “union”.
6. Economic interest
This happens in two scenarios: when the couple has a high-paying job for which he can offer all the desired luxuries to his wife or in cases where the other party does not want (or can) go to work.
7. Emotional blackmail
There are people who engage in this type of trick to get what they want, such as: “If you abandon me, I will take your children away from you,” “If you let me, I’ll commit suicide,” “Don’t you dare divorce me because you you will regret it », etc.
8. Social pressure
Parents, family, friends, and society in general can also put pressure on you to get back with your partner because of the idea that you “must forgive” as many times as necessary as long as you don’t stay alone because it looks bad.
You are very credulous, you always believe in their false promises even if all the people around you tell you otherwise, you believe in yourself again because deep down you want it to be true.
10. Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem, low self-esteem that you have of yourself can be the great factor that intervenes so that most of the points already mentioned above are made. Without security and confidence in yourself you will be able to do little.
There may be many or more reasons why you have granted so many opportunities to your partner, if they are valid reasons and it has worked for you, congratulations! But if you already go twice (you go for the third time) and you do not see any change, I invite you to make an honest reflection and answer these questions: is it worth trying again? How many more times are you willing knowing that the situation will never change?